Mom Fail - I AM THAT Mom In A Towel On Classroom Zoom

PR 101:  STAY IN FRONT OF THE STORY

...YES.

That was ME.

IN A TOWEL.  

Behind my daughter’s 8 year old head.

On her very first 2nd grade class LIVE Zoom video call.

Her 2nd grade teacher and the surprise guest, the PRINCIPAL on the screen in front of me.

...I was THAT parent just TWO days ago writing to the Principal asking whether there were future plans to offer Live Video instruction incorporated in the current Google Classroom online distance learning for our daughter’s 2nd grade class.  

Kindly replying with concern over student and teacher privacy, he informed us that many teachers in the school were planning Google Meets and Zoom and Seesaw opportunities in the future.  Almost the instant that I hit “Send” to the original message to the Principal, our daughter’s teacher was sending us information about the class’ first interactive Zoom chat the following week.  Having already received the notice from her teacher, I quickly thanked the Principal for his response.  

It is the middle of week 4 of online homeschooling and like many other millions of American families we are adjusting to our new normal.  Schools in neighboring Pennsylvania are now officially closed for the remainder of the school year - New Jersey may not be far behind.  

Between ensuring that her little 8 year old attention span stays on task during the unteachered/unsupervised daily schedule for each 45 minute segment (because of no live instruction) her computer literacy inches closer to exceeding my own, 

“MAMA!  Look what happens when you click here!...

Did you know that you can create emojis when you do this?...

MAMAAA!!  Look, I can open this window and click on this to share it and LOOOOOOOK I can turn the entire screen profile instead of landscape and turn it black with neon colors!...

And GOOGLE SAYS:...”

and the 1hr mandatory lunch/recess that is strongly encouraged to happen outdoors, (I am certain that this pandemic is the fantasy of every cat and dog in the world - constant companionship and affection and going from zero walks a day to at least 2…)  instead of 12-13 hours of work flanked by the amazing after school caregivers our reality is now a 3.5hrs work day. 

Quality family time… a blessing… becoming ultimate cruise directors to our 8 year old for the sake of not allowing the television and computer and ipad to become full time parents - our non-screen-time-parents worst freaking nightmare!  

I had just arrived home shortly after 1pm having left our family’s forced isolation due to the increasing restrictions imposed by the Covid 19 pandemic in New Jersey.  

For 24 hours I was caring for my father who was in a car accident on the Garden State Parkway.  His car was totalled after hydroplaning before dawn in torrential rainfall on his daily commute into New York’s Veteran’s Hospital in Bronx, NY.  He is a Veteran continuing to serve his country as an essential federal employee servicing our Veterans.  

I forever salute all of our Veterans and emergency responders and healthcare professionals as they continue to risk their own personal health to service our community - I pray that every effort is being made to protect their health and safety. 

We are blessed to be in a position to be able to work from home without impacting our family’s income, assist in our daughter’s daily online education and be able to put everything on hold to help a family member in an emergency.  

So many other families right now are questioning how to pay for rent, where their next income will come from and how they can put food on their table.

An angel was with my father yesterday as his car spun out of control.  He miraculously walked away from the accident but refused medical treatment or evaluation at a local hospital because of the pandemic.  He currently lives alone, hours away from family after relocating because of Hurricane Maria as he awaits my brother’s high school graduation in Puerto Rico when he will be joined by his wife and son here in their new home in NJ.   After the accident he was left at the nearest rest stop on the Parkway waiting for a ride home.

Ever the cautious professional his first words to me were:  “Keep a social distance, mama!” 

I kept him company as he navigated through insurance calls and made him dinner and checked on him through the night to make sure he was okay.  We both wore masks and laughed at each other as we hung out in separate rooms of his home.    

1. He works for a hospital in one of the nation’s Covid 19 epicenters and I need to protect my family
2. I am deemed essential in the financial service industry in one of the most volatile financial times in history continuing to see clients and I need to keep him safe 

Assured of his health 24 hours after his accident, I returned home and ran through the front door of my house just after 1pm, my husband who had pulled solo daddy/homeschool duty for 24hours was on a work call while I peeled off my clothes and started disinfecting myself and jumping into the shower as has been my routine upon returning home from being out and about. I am our family’s designated roamer to minimize our family exposure.   

Tiny human’s teacher’s first Zoom video call notice said she would be logging on at 1:35pm so I quickly ran to the shower yelling,

 “20 MINUTES BEFORE ZOOM WITH YOUR CLAAAAASSSSS!”

“OKAY MAMA!” she yelled back.

During the last several weeks we have been having “play dates” with friends via Zoom and her school account has not previously allowed her to access Zoom so we have been logging into my Google Account instead which has multiple security screens and passwords.  

Alarms blaring, I rushed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me screaming, 

“YOU HAVE TO LOG INTO ZOOM MAMA!  GET ME THE COMPUTER!!!”  

I looked at her through the bedroom hallway at the table that we created in the living room with her work station and noticed that she had her super old school giant headphones on her head with no response. 

I quickly walked across the living room draped in my towel and loomed over her gazing into the laptop, 

“Hey!  What are you watching?  A video with your teacher?’’

…. Silence. 

“HELLO!  What video is that!?”  

In my towel.

ME:  noticing that her teacher all of a sudden is not the only person on the 6 block screen in front of me as Tiny Human scrolls through the screen… next to her teacher:  The Principal.

I giant-stepped to the right, away from the field of the camera.

“Mama.  

Is that a video you’re watching?”  I whispered.

“NO!  It’s ZOOM!”

…. Oh.  My. APPLESAUCE!

“PLEASE TURN OFF THE CAMERA FEED!!

“Is the camera off?!”

Giggling from the Tiny Human.  

“YES! What?!”

“Mama!  You can’t go on live video chat without letting the family know that they’re on camera!  

You need to go to each person in the house and say: 

“I’m starting a live video mama!,

I’m starting a live video daddy!, 

I’m starting a live video feed Murphy!!”  I fussed.

“Why does the DOG need to know that he’s on video!?”

“BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW AND THEIR PRIVACY NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED!!

YOUR TEACHER AND THE PRINCIPAL MIGHT HAVE SEEN YOUR MAMA IN A TOWEL!”

Hysterical, tear induced laughter filled the house, as I continued to make the case for informed consent…  

That being said, having experienced this ridiculous self invasion of privacy in my own home, I am emphatically supportive of live classroom instruction during home remote learning.  

I have no doubt that there will be many UH OH! moments but these children are resilient, tech savvy beings that with routine and structure and guidance can achieve anything they set their minds to…

The current state is “abnormal” and “unprecedented” and a “nightmare” for parents, but it's the “here and now” and “normal” and “the future” of these tiny humans shaping to become self sufficient, multitasking, electronic guru invaluable members of society because of these experiences.

As we continue to learn and grow from these experiences, we’ll be repositioning her desk so that she sits against a window or wall just like we do at the office to save her from the embarrassment of being the child of #ThatMomInATowelOnClassroomZoom...  

And as I sit here at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon, nursing a glass of chardonnay and my first bowl of Fruity Pebbles in 20 years (I read somewhere at the beginning of this that we should store some things to munch on that reminded us about carefree childhood days for when all else fails), I am determined to stay in front of the story and tell the world!

As I try to practice mindfulness and mommy self-compassion and mommy self-grace and mommy self-empathy, I’m feeling good that “at least I wasn’t running around with the towel around my waist this time.”  

So, YES, that is ME.  

The Mom. 

In a towel. 

Behind my daughter’s 8 year old head.

On her very first 2nd grade class LIVE Zoom video call.

Her 2nd grade teacher and the surprise guest, the PRINCIPAL both on the screen in front of me.

And we are blessed. 

siempre - dorana 

passionately dream living

#ThatMomInATowelOnClassroomZoom

#MomFail

#Covid19Sucks

#ZoomFail

In Loving Memory of Our Best Friend, Lancelot (6/1995 - 3/2011)

He could no longer hear the doorbell ring, nor the dinging of the letters of the Wheel of Fortune puzzles that just a year or two earlier would instantly send him into a startling choir of barks.


Tears fill my eyes thinking of the many times I would find myself wondering when was the last time he had actually heard my voice…



We would giggle as he jerked his head excitedly trying to find the treat that escaped his grasp, his eyesight failing, working himself into a tizzy until he chomped it up happily detecting it after a while, right next to his elusive giant paw…


He lay in the kitchen, quite literally in the middle of where I would be working, while I made dinner every night as he nodded off, sleeping away more and more of the day.

Quietly, Yoda would come home from work, put down his things, give me a kiss hello and together we would wait…

Lance’s ears, eyes, and old joints were steadily betraying him…

But not his NOSE!

After a few moments, we’d watch his eyes begin to flutter and see his nostrils catching Yoda’s scent in the air, both of us laughing out loud as his eyes flew open in excited recognition, tail thumping as he shuffled to his feet to propel his body against Yoda’s legs in hello as we both laughed…

Every night for years, we would find ourselves in a twin-sized ball curled up tightly on half of our king sized bed as he lounged on the other side comfortably.

But he had long since stopped jumping on the bed…

We created wall-to-wall carpeting throughout the house using strategically placed $12 Walmart runners over our gorgeous mahogany floors to help ease his difficulty with traction on the slippery floor.

Last summer we bought a little red wagon hoping he could join us on walks around the block and enjoy the fresh air, and we chanted “BEEP… BEEP… BEEEEP!” as he slowly maneuvered himself in reverse when he couldn’t spin his body around to go in another direction…

But every morning, after Yoda left for work, he would stumble back into the bedroom where I lay, and heave himself against the foot of the bed, his great big otter tail thumping against it as he slithered his body under the blankets that spilled over the edge, pushing himself from one side to the other, nudging me to wake and give him his daily hugs and kisses…

I had thought that this particular ritual was reserved just for me until the last time my nephew stayed the night with us before we lost our beloved Lancelot.

I heard him shuffle from the foot of my bed across the hall into the guest room where he would always sleep when Joel spent the night – the world’s best babysitter.

I followed him and quietly stood at the door to the guest room.

I smiled as I watched my little old man, almost all white with hints of golden yellow, jerk his body familiarly against the twin sized bed, thumping his tail against it while he slithered from the foot of the bed to the pillow of the sleeping boy.

Tears once again filled my eyes as I watched him push his nose under Joel’s neck and gently raised his head nudging his favorite boy awake. Joel sleepily smiled and wrapped his arms around Lance’s big neck and draped his leg over the side of the bed wrapping himself around him. I stood there realizing that I had witnessed for the first time a morning dance that must have gone on forever.

“Morning Lance!” mumbled Joel nuzzled into Lance’s neck as I walked away my heart full of love and joy to have been able to witness the love between a little boy and his dog.

Lance was a true Lab puppy, high-strung, destructive, and downright psychotic!

(Yes, Lance is TWELVE YEARS OLD here! LOL - always a Lab puppy! A very helpful grocery carrier!)

I could write my own novel based on his puppy antics…

But these were the moments… the memories that I cherish the most are of his last year with us.

He would have been sixteen years old this summer; we couldn’t have been more blessed with the time we had with him.

It has been almost three months and not a day goes by that I don’t wake up expecting to hear his otter tail against the foot of the bed and feel his cold nose under my neck against my pillow, wishing me a good morning.

Sixteen years is a long time to love someone – for half of my life he was my best friend – the keeper of all my secrets and the source of my greatest unconditional love.

I learned what it meant to have someone else dependent on me completely for their care, made life altering decisions based on that commitment and somewhere in there, we grew up together.

Thank you, Lance for being my best friend and filling our lives with your wagging thumping otter tail and loyal laughing smile.

“Save a Lab, have a friend for Life!” Labs4Rescue.com

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The quickest way to the amazing panoramic views along the Belvedere of Traga off of the Marina Piccola (little harbor) in Capri, Italy, is by funicular railway.

A visual representation of today's mental state... here's to the peace, tranquility and majestic created and natural blessings that are found on the other side.