Wednesday, November 19, 2008


PRIZE: TWO PAIRS of myDesign Interchangeable Charms from!
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Thank you all for your entries and the laughter you shared with us over the weekend! I want to also send a HUGE hug to our contest RUNNER UP!

Please join me in congratulating both winners of my contest - they will each receive TWO PAIR of myDesign Interchangeable Charms from!

============================================== - "Never Go Diving Into Swim Trunks Blindly!"

On my honeymoon, we were at a hotel with a pool. Only new hubby and I were in the pool area, so I decided to get frisky with him. I swam under water to him. The chlorine was bad, so I only peeked a moment while swimming to find him, and then played a little feely-feely with him.

I stood up only to find a very surprised stranger who had my hand in his trunks. He had gotten in while I was underwater. - ""I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!" - This story SUCKS!"(WARNING: Adult Content!)

Okay, well... lets see. This is graphic but no foul language! Beware!!!

1998, and I'm in college - and lets say - inexperienced. My boyfriend at the time and I were dating not too terribly long, but long enough where we were intimate. Well, one night he wanted a BJ... and I really had a bad gag reflex. So, he suggested that we go to the porn store, and get something to numb my throat. At this time in my life, I was pretty much good with trying anything once - so off we went to the porn store. We purchase this jar of stuff called "Gag reflex cream" and go back to the dorm.

There were no instructions at all on this - only said "apply to the back of your throat". So me, being stupid, take a nice big ol' wad of the crap and swallow it down. About a minute into the "Act" my entire face has now seized up and gone numb. My tongue wagging out of my mouth like a dog panting for water. I couldn't retract it. I'm hysterical. I can't feel my face. I can't move my tongue. Drool has now started to slither out of my mouth like a stampede of snails on the run from a predator. My boyfriend starts to freak out, which only upsets me more.

If you've never had the pleasure of experiencing complete face, tongue, and throat numbness, then you will never understand the trauma of trying desperately NOT to choke to death on your own spit while crying so hard you start to dry heave.

The only thing to do would be go to the hospital. But no, I couldn't possibly. What would I say? I over dosed on porn store gag cream so I could give my boyfriend head? Could you imagine this being told my Marine father and overly possessive mother? Surely, we couldn't go to the hospital. I feared for my life - and my face at this point.

I'm sobbing and my boyfriend is freaking out and yelling - which only makes me more upset. He's yelling, I'm crying, and heaving, which has now started involuntary farting. The more upset he got, the more upset I became - until the inevitable moment I dreaded.

I puked in his lap. Directly on Mr. Woo-Woo.

Thankfully, my face, tongue, and throat FINALLY recovered after a few hours - but the shame and humility of that night will live on forever.

I didn't see much of my former flame after that experience. And I'm pretty sure he's scarred for life from ever having oral again.

That, my friends, is my most embarrassing moment to date.

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